Shaking my head

We live in the most dangerous time this country has scene since the McCarthy era.  I love technology and instant access to everything, but there has been a really unfortunate side effect.  Reality TV, Youtube, Facebook and Twitter have eroded what we want to see in our news, our entertainment and ourselves to the lowest common denominator.  How else can you explain the appeal of a hate-mongering bigoted demagogue like Rick Santorum being a front runner for the Republican Nomination for President of the Union States.  This guy is so bat shit crazy that he compares homosexuality to beastiality and actually wants to give the Pope a cabinet post?!?! The Pope?!?! The same guy who swore up and down that child sexual abuse by priests never happened in Europe?!?!  Is Jerry Sandusky gonna be up for the Secretary of the Interior in your administration Rick?!? After all he's from Pennsylvania?!?! Santorum is every bit as scary as Adolph Hitler should have been in 1930's Germany.  I don't claim to be smart enough to run for office, but I know enough about our government to know that we absolutely can't turn the keys of the most powerful nation on Earth over to someone who has no idea what the Constitution actually says.  I love to drink beer.  I mean I really love to drink beer.  It doesn't matter to me if it's Natural Ice, PBR or Samuel Adams, but I'm not looking to elect someone because it'd be cool to share a beer with.  That's an absolutely idiotic way to pick a leader.  It's a miracle that Paulie D and the Situation aren't the Senators from New Jersey!!!  Wait...  are they?!?

We live in a world where Barrack Obama spent 650 million dollars to win a $400,000 a year job?!?!  We live in a world where liberals from the Northeast want to know how George W. Bush got elected twice but have re-elected Tom Menino five times?!!?! We live in a world where the teacher's union is the root cause of all the ills in our society but the corrupt as sin politicians and bankers who screwed us all are given a free pass?!?!  The Dow Jones is 10,000 points higher than when Bill Clinton took office but we're in the worst recession since the Depression?!?!  We live in a world where talent and intelligence are subjugated by mediocrity and stupidity, how else can you explain why anyone knows Kim Kardashian's name?!?!  Bruce Jenner won a gold medal in the Olympics and her father was a legal wizard, she is a fame grubbing publicity whore?!?!  Teen Mom?!?!  Really?!?!  How in the hell can you call that entertainment?!?!  How in the hell can WWE's ratings be down?!?  Ex wrestlers drop dead of drug overdoses all the time.  One even killed his wife and autistic son and then hanged himself on his Nautilus?!?!  Seems like MTV and E should be camped outside 24/7?!?!  Charlie Sheen played himself on Two and a Half Men for eight years and got fired?!?! Seems like he'd be the perfect new housemate on Jersey Shore?!?!  Who the Hell is running ESPN?!?! There are like 1.6 billion Asians on this planet and your ignorant asses want to racially profile the only one who plays in the NBA?!?!  Is anyone actually surprised that Floyd Mayweather Jr. has anger management issues and beat up his ex?!?!  If The Walking Dead is a reflection of the human condition than we should all just shoot ourselves now or hope to get bit first when the zombies take over!!!  Why did the Federal Government prosecute Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens for perjury and just let the banking industry walk?!?!  Does any actually care if they did steroids?!? For that matter why are the sports writers such disgusting fat asses?!?!  Why do they get to decide who gets into the Halls of Fame?!?!  Wasn't there a less qualified group of people we could find?!?!  Am I the only person who gets angry when some jerkoff won't stand up or take his hat off when the National Anthem is played?!?!  Why is that we don't want the best and brightest to defend us or teach our children or lead us?!?!  How often have you heard the following: You are too smart and talented to join the military, be a teacher or go into politics, besides there's no money in it!!!  Yet we wonder why we get attacked, our schools fail, and our leaders are frauds!!!!

Well if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do, and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

So... what if???

How is it even possible that I haven't updated this blog since last summer?  Well, that needs to be rectified.  So...  for your utter bemusement and possible bewilderment here are some questions that have been on my mind:

What if I'd stayed in the Marine Corps?  What if Lost had tried to go one more season?  What if Sarah Palin had actually run for President?  What if the Bruins had continued their early season skid?  What if the economy actually gets worse?  What if Ted actually meets the mother?  What if Rob Gronkowski was cast on Jersey Shore?  What if John Cena actually turns heel?  What if my brakes had failed that morning?  What if all the students became the teachers and the teachers became the students?  What if people actually read this blog?  What if I had fired my weapon in combat?  What if the world really does end December 2012? What if my students actually listened to themselves?  What if we woke up tomorrow and switched genders?  What if we woke up tomorrow and all looked the same?  What if the Smokin Hoggz sell their sauce?  What if that handsome quartet of geekdom go global?  What if we realized that money and credit are social constructs and we could just as easily exist without them?  What if true happiness were truly attainable?  What if we all just decided to change the world?  What if the NBA ever starts playing again? (What do you mean they already have?!?!?!)  What if people paid as much attention to what our leaders say and do as they to the Kardashian whores? What if people actually understood what the government can and cannot do?  What if we legalized marijuana?  What if we granted amnesty to all the illegal immigrants?  What if we just nuked Iran?  What if Iran just nuked Israel?  What if Suff thought about things before he speaks?(Please don't cuz I love that you are splendidly ignorant)  What if Scott didn't think the way he does?  What if I run out of questions???

Well, if you're still reading this then you probably have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case, then you have my sympathies.

Coming Home

When I was seventeen I joined a cult.  Do I have your attention?  Yes?  Good.  I didn't join a cult, I joined the Order of DeMolay.  Why?  I was bored.  I had a car and no where to go.  I was in high school and while I wasn't unpopular, I had no real social life.  What I found was way more.  If you had told me in February 1993 that this would be a defining event in my life I would have told you that you were insane.  My senior year was ahead of me.  College was ahead of me.  Football was my whole life.  DeMolay was at that time an outlet, nothing less and nothing more.  I didn't know that in less than a year everything I thought I knew about life would change and that DeMolay would become the one thing that I would care the most about.  I learned so much about myself in this group.  I learned to harness my ambitions.  I learned to speak in public.  I learned to respect those different from me.  These are all great things.  I also learned how to be arrogant, a bit self absorbed, and to manipulate my peers.  I don't say this as a detraction of DeMolay.  If anything the sense of belonging it provided me simply amplified the other things.

The last few years have been the most exciting and the most trying of my life.  I have a beautiful and amazing wife.  I have a beautiful little boy who lights up my life.  I have been blessed more than I deserve.  Three years ago, I went back to my roots.  As wonderful as things have been, I was missing a part of myself.  Recently, I have started to feel whole again as old friendships have been renewed.  It's never been easy for me to admit that I need help.  Recently I was reminded of a simple truth...  nobody can help you if they don't know you need it.  In a round about way this is also a thank you note to Rick, John, Shawn, Mike and Brian.  You really are among the finest men I will ever know.

I would be remiss talking about DeMolay without mentioning a few really special people who mean(t) everything to me.  Fred K. Bauer, you had a heart of pure gold and a quiet dignity about you that I truly respected.  I miss you everyday.  Chris Sylvia, I was your wingman and deputy but you were my brother and friend and I hope someday we might find that common ground promised in the retirement song.  Paul Weston, all I can say to you is "Talk to me Goose." It doesn't matter if hours or years pass between our conversations it always feel like it's only been a few minutes.

Well, if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

Long Overdue

I believe that when a person goes through a traumatic experience that they either remember every single detail about it and constantly re-experience it or attempt to block it out until the memory resurfaces.  I've battled with my own experience for the last eight years.  I've tried to explain it to my friends with limited or no success.  They either don't or can't understand because they weren't there.  And even though I don't doubt that they care, I know that many of my closest friends haven't really been listening because they are dealing with their own traumas which I completely understand.  We only know our own pain and it's hard to cope with anything outside our own fragile sensibilities.  I've tried counseling but that has limits. The truth is that there is a story to be told.  Once it is told in its entirety, then I hope that I will finally be free of it.

The Misguided Children is my story.  It is both epic and fragile at the same time.  It is comedic, dramatic, tragic, and at times ironic.  I have experienced terror and fear, and great joy and courage.  I don't expect everyone who reads it to understand it.  I don't even expect everyone who reads it to believe it.  I'm not even sure that I believe it all even though it is all true.  It is a work in progress as am I.  If you have been a fan of this blog then I hope you will give it a read.  If you have been bored by my incessant rambling here, then maybe you will like a more structured story.  As I said this is my story, and while I'm not sure if it's anything that anyone will actually want to read, I am absolutely certain that it is one I need to tell.

http://themisguidedchildren.blogspot.com/

What is the point?

So another of Lance Armstrong's former teammates has come forward to say that Lance was using EPO during the 1999, 2001, and 2002 Tour de France.  Why?  Why is it so crucial to media and to the U.S. Government to bring this man down?  We live in a world besmirched by war, natural disasters, a lousy economy, hatred and fear.  Most people are so wrapped up in their sad little existences that they don't even recognize real problems.  Lance Armstrong had brain, lung and testicular cancer...  AT THE SAME TIME!!!  Who cares that he won the Tour de France once or seven times...  HE BEAT THREE DIFFERENT STRANDS OF CANCER!!!  Then he had the unmitigated nerve to use his celebrity to form the Livestrong Foundation which raises millions upon millions of dollars to fight cancer!!  I definitely think that the media and the U.S. Government should spend countless hours and money trying to prove that this man cheated in a bike race.  Are you fucking kidding me?!?!  The man cheated death!!!  Who the hell cares about a bike race?!?!?  He has one nut left and these lousy bastards want to cut that one off too!!!  The executives that destroyed the economy get a free pass but Lance Armstrong needs to be taken down a notch?!  What other American professional athlete spends as much time trying to inspire people and fund cancer research?!?!  Certainly not any of the whining crybaby millionaires in the NFL who can't even figure out if they are in a union!!!  Certainly not any of the tattoo covered, dope smoking, wife leaving, thug life wanna be "stars" in the NBA!!!  Certainly not any of the drive up each other's asses at 200 mph NASCAR drivers!!!  Certainly not any of the "I'm awesome because I do my job 30% of the time" guys in MLB!!! (Batting .300 is 30% for those who need help!!)  My mother died of cancer and I had to watch it.  I can't help but admire Lance Armstrong.  Nothing anyone has said or will ever say can change that.  Now leave him alone and start going after the people that are destroying the world we live in!

Well, if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

Rest In Peace Macho Man

I love sports, movies, music, pop culture, comic books, novels, history, beer, and politics.  I like to consider myself relatively well spoken, read and educated.  If I have a vice, an addiction so to speak, it's to pro-wrestling.  I am fully aware of each and every stigma attached to it, and I honestly don't care.  I'm hooked.  I've been hooked since I stayed up to late on a Saturday night in 1987 and saw a guy dressed like Elvis smash a guitar over a stringy haired, bearded dude wearing purple trunks with three white stars on the front and Macho Man printed on the back.  A few minutes later, Hulk Hogan was lead to the ring by a woman in a torn dress to save him.  When the dust settled the two men shook hands in the center ring.  That was my introduction to Randy Savage.  There was something about his weird voice, head band, ridiculous capes, and sunglasses that made him cool.  Twenty three years ago I saw an interview with the Macho Man where he uttered the words "I've got me a tag team partner, and he's the greatest tag team partner that anybody in the world could ever have!!  AND HERE HE COMES RIGHT NOW..."  and out came Hulk Hogan to form the Mega Powers.  I guess I'm a fanboy geek because that is still cool to me.  I always enjoyed watching the Macho Man whether it was for WWE, WCW, NWO, Slim Jim, or occasionally in the movies.  Nobody ever wasted their money to see Randy Savage.  Heaven is a little brighter today and the world is little less colorful.  You will be missed Randy.  You were flawed, a bit crazy, tempermental, talented, entertaining and often imitated but never duplicated.  I wish you fair winds and calm seas.  Rest in peace.

Goodbye.. for now

No more rants.  No more questions.  No more diatribes.  I'm going to shut this blog down for a while and concentrate on the story I started in the Misguided Children.  I've enjoyed writing this blog.  I hadn't written  anything just to write it in a long time.

I love my wife and my little boy.  I love my friends.  I love my life (for the most part).  I have been unhappy for real reasons and venting about the pointless and unimportant.  I need the people that I love the most to be around more.  I miss you and need to know that you're there.  Please don't ditch me now.  I really need you now more than ever.  I'm asking for your help even if you feel I don't deserve it.

This post will not go up on Facebook or Twitter, but rather it is just going to sit here as a beacon.  If you are reading this then I can only assume that at one time or another we were friends.  If that's the case then I hope we still are cuz I miss you.