Slighted

Lately I've been using this blog to ask questions that occur to me, but today I'm gonna rant a bit.  So I've been a shut-in now going on what seems like forever.  Boredom and cabin fever have taken over and they are playing absolute havoc on my mental and emotional states.  I feel completely out of touch and disconnected.  I know that I've had a serious case of seasonal depression.  I was watching Hoffa last night and Jack Nicholson tells Danny DeVito that he shared information with another Teamster because "If a guy's close to you, you can't slight 'im. You can't slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies."  This got me to thinking about what constitutes a slight?  Words, actions, a combination? Is it ignoring or being indifferent to some one's feelings?  Is it purposely pissing them off and then acting like you did nothing wrong when you knew they'd explode just not to the degree which they did? Is it lying to someone to "protect" their feelings?  Is it making excuses? I'm not talking about a dictionary definition here.  I could look it up if that's what I wanted.  No.  What I want to do is write a real world definition complete with examples of things that if you do then you'll probably be guilty of slighting someone. 


A slight is a perceived feeling of being left out or screwed over by someone important or close.


First off, once and for all accept that words hurt.  It's a stupid little joke that words can never hurt you.  Some of the most painful things in the world are words.  I'm a big dude and I can take a punch or a kick, but some of the most pain I've ever felt have been caused by words.  Here are some phrases that I think classify as slights and what is actually meant/heard:

• I don't want to be rude, but... (something really nasty is coming!)
• I've just been so busy lately... (and you don't really matter to me!)
• I've been meaning to talk to you... (no you haven't!)
• I would've written, but I didn't know what to say... (actually I'm just totally insensitive/lying!)
• If you're hurting then it's on you... (I don't care because I'm not hurting!)
• Respect me enough not to ask me why... (I know you won't agree and might have a valid point that I don't want to hear!)
• Everybody's going through some stuff... (and I really don't care about your shit!)
• That's not the same as... (thank you for belittling how I feel because you think you've been through worse!)
• We wanted to include you but... (insert lame ass reason here!)
• You're too... (short, average, dumb, loud, arrogant, simple, mean, nice. etc!)
• Please check this out...  (thing you've been excluded from)
• I didn't think you'd say yes... (thanks for giving me an option)
• I'm broke... (then you post something on facebook about spending money or going somewhere!)
• I don't care about...  (Yes you do! Ever notice that you only say this about stuff that bothers you?!)
• I just figured... (actually you didn't even think so you shouldn't start this way)
• It's not that big a deal... (if it's causing an issue then it's a big deal!)
• You never listen.. (this one's good when it comes from someone who never opens up!)
• YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN... (caps signify yelling. irony?)
• I talked to you about this... (WHEN?!?! Never happened and you're desperately looking for an out!)
• Well I don't have time to deal with this... (or you because you don't matter!)
• How dare you... (consider how you'd feel if someone says this to you?!?!)
• Stop being so sensitive.. (thanks for belittling me!)

I know that I've said a lot of these phrases and that means that I have slighted people and for that I am sorry.  But these are lines I've been hearing a lot lately either to me or to friends of mine and I think that it should be noted that the only person who feels better when these phrases are said is the speaker.  Trust me when I say this, you are not protecting the other person's feelings or appearing sympathetic if you say these things to a friend who is hurting and needs help.  On the contrary you are coming off as a sanctimonious asshole and you are in danger of making an enemy!!

Well if you're still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

WTF?!?!?!

I wish I had a funny motive for this blog, but it occurs to me that so many things are so seriously F@#$ED up in the world right now that humor might not be the best way to address them.  What is going on with the weather? Why do we do think that sending money will help victims of natural disasters?  They need people to actually help them!  How the hell am I still unemployed?  When is the NFL going to realize that trying to figure out how to divide $9 BILLION in revenue is a problem that everyone else would love to have?  Who is going to rise up next?  Where is the compassion?  What happened to moral outrage?  Why do I always have to reach out first?  How are we going to fix this planet?  When are we going to realize that "Not in my backyard" is a pathetic way to go through life?  Where are groups like the NAACP, NOW and GLAD when disasters happen? (Can they only help people when people create the problem?)  How do we continue to ignore the people who matter most to us and care about that which truly shouldn't matter? What should matter more: fear or respect? Why don't religious people practice the tolerance that all religions preach?  Who was the last person who said on their deathbed that they wished they'd spent more time at work?   How did I forget the order of these questions?  When are we going to stop dreaming big and living small?  What is so wrong with wanting accountability and fairness?  Why do we say "I don't care" about the stuff that really bothers us?  Where is it written that it's better to do nothing when you know someone needs help?  Who is still reading?  How is it all going to end?  Why am I so filled with anger and jealousy instead of love and compassion?  When is the world going to wake up?  Where do I get off asking these kind of questions?  What is wrong with the Bruins?  Who will be next to get married and have kids?  How long will it take certain people to realize that words can and do hurt but not as much as indifference?  Why does my friend Mark's happiness seem to coincide with so much misery around the world? When will you vote for Smokin Hoggz BBQ?  How often? Who will be at the Quincy Bar Crawl this weekend?  What will Brayden's first word be?  Where has the time gone?

Well if you're still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case, then you have my sympathies.