Slighted

Lately I've been using this blog to ask questions that occur to me, but today I'm gonna rant a bit.  So I've been a shut-in now going on what seems like forever.  Boredom and cabin fever have taken over and they are playing absolute havoc on my mental and emotional states.  I feel completely out of touch and disconnected.  I know that I've had a serious case of seasonal depression.  I was watching Hoffa last night and Jack Nicholson tells Danny DeVito that he shared information with another Teamster because "If a guy's close to you, you can't slight 'im. You can't slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies."  This got me to thinking about what constitutes a slight?  Words, actions, a combination? Is it ignoring or being indifferent to some one's feelings?  Is it purposely pissing them off and then acting like you did nothing wrong when you knew they'd explode just not to the degree which they did? Is it lying to someone to "protect" their feelings?  Is it making excuses? I'm not talking about a dictionary definition here.  I could look it up if that's what I wanted.  No.  What I want to do is write a real world definition complete with examples of things that if you do then you'll probably be guilty of slighting someone. 


A slight is a perceived feeling of being left out or screwed over by someone important or close.


First off, once and for all accept that words hurt.  It's a stupid little joke that words can never hurt you.  Some of the most painful things in the world are words.  I'm a big dude and I can take a punch or a kick, but some of the most pain I've ever felt have been caused by words.  Here are some phrases that I think classify as slights and what is actually meant/heard:

• I don't want to be rude, but... (something really nasty is coming!)
• I've just been so busy lately... (and you don't really matter to me!)
• I've been meaning to talk to you... (no you haven't!)
• I would've written, but I didn't know what to say... (actually I'm just totally insensitive/lying!)
• If you're hurting then it's on you... (I don't care because I'm not hurting!)
• Respect me enough not to ask me why... (I know you won't agree and might have a valid point that I don't want to hear!)
• Everybody's going through some stuff... (and I really don't care about your shit!)
• That's not the same as... (thank you for belittling how I feel because you think you've been through worse!)
• We wanted to include you but... (insert lame ass reason here!)
• You're too... (short, average, dumb, loud, arrogant, simple, mean, nice. etc!)
• Please check this out...  (thing you've been excluded from)
• I didn't think you'd say yes... (thanks for giving me an option)
• I'm broke... (then you post something on facebook about spending money or going somewhere!)
• I don't care about...  (Yes you do! Ever notice that you only say this about stuff that bothers you?!)
• I just figured... (actually you didn't even think so you shouldn't start this way)
• It's not that big a deal... (if it's causing an issue then it's a big deal!)
• You never listen.. (this one's good when it comes from someone who never opens up!)
• YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN... (caps signify yelling. irony?)
• I talked to you about this... (WHEN?!?! Never happened and you're desperately looking for an out!)
• Well I don't have time to deal with this... (or you because you don't matter!)
• How dare you... (consider how you'd feel if someone says this to you?!?!)
• Stop being so sensitive.. (thanks for belittling me!)

I know that I've said a lot of these phrases and that means that I have slighted people and for that I am sorry.  But these are lines I've been hearing a lot lately either to me or to friends of mine and I think that it should be noted that the only person who feels better when these phrases are said is the speaker.  Trust me when I say this, you are not protecting the other person's feelings or appearing sympathetic if you say these things to a friend who is hurting and needs help.  On the contrary you are coming off as a sanctimonious asshole and you are in danger of making an enemy!!

Well if you're still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.