When?

When will the Boston Globe stop bashing the Teacher's Union and start bashing the policies that have created the problem?  When will ESPN stop trying to crown LeBron James before he actually wins anything?  When will people stop caring about who's boinking who?  When will Sean Carpenter decide that he is better than the candidates he endorses and run for office?  When will my son Brayden crawl?  When will the New York Jets stop talking and do what they get paid to do?  When are people going to realize there is absolutely no difference between Republicans, Democrats and investment bankers?  (They all get rich selling us a fantasy while we bust our asses and stay right where we are!)  When will MLB have a salary cap?  When will we stop calling military operations wars?  When will I finally learn that high anxiety and alcohol make me no fun to be around?  When will my father realize that sending email is less complicated than rewiring the basement?  When will Brayden's baby acne go away?  When is a fellow inmate going to shiv Bernie Madoff?  When is Lifetime going to stop making cheesy movies about men who kill women? (Aren't they supposed to be the network for women?)  When will my aunts get off their asses and come see Brayden? (Supposedly they are dying to meet him, so one could assume that they are dead by now)  When will Kim Kardashian just go the F#$% AWAY?  When will the Boston Bruins stop teasing us with a couple wins before an extended losing streak?  When will ESPN pay as much attention the Celtics or the Lakers as they do the Heat?  WHEN WILL BRETT FAVRE FINALLY F@#$ING RETIRE? When will celebrities who commit heinous crimes get treated like the rest of us?  When is this global warming thing going to actually warm the globe? (It's frickin freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth)  When is ML going to stop inviting me to join his fantasy leagues? (It'll probably be right after football ends and after how I've acted, I can't blame him)  When is my Masters finally going to come in the mail?  When am I finally going to stop caring about shit that truly doesn't matter?  When will the Patriots win their next Superbowl?  When will M&M finally get engaged?  When is Suff finally going to realize that will while size is important, substance usually wins over flash in the end?  When will the state of Massachusetts stop voting the same tired bums in and acting flabbergasted when they screw us over?  When will I stop missing my mom?  When is it going to start to feel like Christmas?  When is Otis finally going to come to Boston?  When is my wife going to believe me when I tell her that she's beautiful?  When am I going to stop asking these questions???

Well, if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

No ordinary post

Baseball season for Red Sox fans came to an end this weekend!!  After the way this season has played out all I can say is thank God!  THANK GOD!!!  With the injuries and up and down way this team played I am relieved that it is over.  The only bright side to all this is that on the final weekend of the season the Red Sox stopped the Yankees from winning the division and home field advantage in the playoffs (Yes I am well aware that it is sour grapes and I don't care!!).   On a more personal note:  I couldn't be happier that baseball's regular season is over because that also means that my Fantasy Baseball season is over.  The only consolation is that there wasn't any money involved...  and that is the only consolation!!!  I have several friends who run three fantasy teams and I am convinced that they either have infinitely more patience and time on their hands than I do or they are gluttons for punishment!!!  Either way I think it would be more entertaining to dig for change in a jar filled with alcohol and barb wire than to play fantasy baseball next year!!!

While we are on sports...  if you haven't seen the footage of Nate Robinson dunking on an unsuspecting Shaq then you missed out!!  Speaking of the Celtics... my sister in law made their cheerleading squad!!!  Congrats Kaitlin!!!

So New England and Miami are on Monday Night Football this week!!!  I don't know if I'm alone in this, but I would really like to see the defense that shut down Cincinatti show up tomorrow night instead of the one that pissed away a game to the F@$%ING JETS and did the best it could to blow a lead against the Bills.  And is it too much to ask for the offense to show up, move the God damn chains and score in the second half?!?!?!  Since Tom Brady became the starting QB of the Patriots the only team in the AFC East that the Patriots have a losing record to is the Dolphins!!  THE DOLPHINS!?!?!?  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!  I don't even know if contempt and hatred are strong enough words to describe how I feel about the Miami Dolphins!!    In 1985 Pats fans shouted "Squish the Fish" during the AFC title game.  I think they let the Dolphins off easy.  Consider that some people boycott tuna because fisherman kill the dolphins that get caught in the nets.  Rather than squish the fish I'd like to see the Patriots make tuna salad out of these sorry ass, can't run a pro style offense, douche bags!!!  At least the NFL remembered to schedule the second game in Foxboro in December!!

This past week saw the premier of No Ordinary Family and it is an AWESOME show!!!  It's light, fun, exciting and more than just a live action Incredibles like I initially thought it would be.  Michael Chiklis makes his long awaited return to television.  I loved The Shield and consider Vic Mackey to be one of the great antiheroes of television history right next to Jack Bauer and John Locke.  I was apprehensive about him playing a character that wasn't as edgy.  He is still edgy but it is mixed with a humor that is fitting and campy.  The most interesting new power in the family is the daughter's ability ton read minds... there is a scene where she is playing basketball and can here all the other players thoughts that is absolutely hysterical!!!  This show has a ton of potential!!  I am really looking forward to seeing how this show plays out.

Smallville's final season has yet to disappoint although it does tend to be melodramatic with the destiny angle.  I am waiting patiently for the transformation.  This week saw the  introduction of Cat Grant...  a bubbly, prissy little blonde reporter that I can't help but hope will die in a truly horrible way.  I know that sounds bad but it has to happen...  this character is just awful.

The Big Bang Theory saw the introduction of the Shelbot!  If you don't watch this show you really should.   Bizinga!  Kenny Powers starts out the new season of Eastbound and Down living in Mexico as a cockfighter!!  His midget sidekick is awesome!   This might be the first character who's more over the top than the main character, and that is really over the top!!! HA!!

Finally, I think that Boardwalk Empire is great.  If you were a fan of the Sopranos, Deadwood or Rome and have been missing grittiness and raw appeal then this is the show for you.  It's funny that I find myself rooting for the characters that are supposed to be considered scum, maybe it's cuz secretly we all wish that we could get away with it.  Steve Buscemi has finally found the perfect role for his talents.

Well, if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that is the case, then you have my sympathies.