All Charged Up

First and foremost let me say this with joy in my heart...  the Rangers won the pennant!  Let me say it again because it feels so good...  THE RANGERS WON THE PENNANT!!!  Before any Yankee fan accuses me of being just a sore loser...  YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT!!!  Why else would I subscribe to the mantra of "I root for two teams: the Red Sox and whoever beat the Yankees"?!?!?!?!  I hate Alex Rodriguez with so much passion that I can barely acknowledge how talented he is.  It's visceral and illogical yet completely real.  As much as I love all the images of the Red Sox title runs in 2004 and 2007, my favorite picture of all time is Jason Varitek punching A-Fraud in the face.  In close second is the close-up shot of him wearing those idiotic Bozo-like batting gloves slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's hand in Game 7 of the '04 ALCS.  I just think he's a total douche bag.  It was also nice to see Mark "Droop Face" Teixeira limp off the field with a hamstring injury.  Now there is a throwback player if ever there was one.  A switch hitting all star first baseman who can barely talk about baseball in a post game interview, let alone formulate a thought, and looks like he is either constantly constipated or having a stroke!!  I find it funny that so many NBA fans crap on LeBron and Chris Bosh for going to the Heat under the guise of not being able or willing to win a title on their own and be the man on their own team...  yet every F@#%ING year that is exactly what every marquee baseball free agent does when they sign with the Evil Empire. I don't recall the analysts on ESPN crushing Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen like this in the summer of 2007.  Did they?  Did I just turn a blind eye?  Either way, I guess I was unaware of two truths:  1) It only takes one superstar to win an NBA title and 2) No matter what the Yankees do, it's understandable and excusable.  I feel sorry for Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera.  While I am no Yankee fan, these three players are true class acts.  They have thrived in the unimaginable brightness of the spotlight in the city that never sleeps for over fifteen years.  It's a shame that management doesn't see the wisdom in growing their own talent and teaching the Yankee way of doing things anymore.  Considering that A-Fraud and Droop Face make more than the than the whole Rangers lineup.. it might be time to change strategy.


The Pats beat the Chargers yesterday 23-20.  This game clarifies the statement that whether you win by one or a hundred, it only matters that you won.  It was ugly.  It was painful.  Even though Drew Brees threw four picks yesterday I can't help but think that Chargers fans must be wondering how they got stuck with Phillip Rivers.  He seems more like the character Ali Larter played in Final Destination Clear Rivers.  Maybe he should check himself into a ward where he can't hurt anyone else with his bad decisions.  Norv Turner sucks as an NFL head coach.  He was a great offensive coordinator.  The only head coach in the NFL that should have less job security than Turner is that lumbering bag of monkey puke in Dallas.  That being said, let me say this...  people often call Belichick a genius, if he's a genius then I'm left to wonder if the definition changed.  Fourth and one, ball on your 48 yard line, no time outs, two minutes to go and a three point lead is when you punt the ball and trust your defense to win the game.  DIDN'T YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM INDIANAPOLIS LAST YEAR?!?!?!?!  Thank God the Chargers suck so bad that they saved your ass!!!!  This team is 5-1, but they are a heart attack inspiring 5-1.  Pats fans might end up drinking more to ease their nerves regardless of the outcome.


It seems that the NFL can't get out of its own way.  On the same day that they announce a new policy that will suspend players for devastating hits, their website has stills of James Harrison leveling Brown's receiver Mohamed Massaquoi.  I don't know whether it's hypocritical or capitalistic to seek profit from something that you just labelled excessive and illegal. Personally I don't care if games end in a tie or a blowout.  And to be frank I don't really care about their safety either.  The minimum salary for the NFL in 2010 is $325,000.  That's what the fourth string guy makes!!!  The starters are all millionaires!!!  The argument for their outrageous salaries is that they can do things that ordinary people can't.  Then I will apply it the opposite way, if they are superhuman then they should be able to take superhuman punishment.  In the Marines my CO told us once "If you want to be safe then go sell shoes at Sears cuz we aren't in a safe f@#$ing business." In other words, if you don't like it then quit you whiny bitch millionaires!!  I mean you all went to college after all right?! You should be able to get decent jobs with your degrees, right?!? Oh I forgot, the only thing you learned there was how to get away with just about any crime as long as an agent doesn't bail you out of jail!!!


Well if you are still reading this then you obviously have as much time on your hands as I do and if that's the case then you have my sympathies.

Random Thoughts

The Patriots beat the Bills 38-30.  EXCUSE ME!?!?!  38-30?!?!?!   Let me see if I understand this correctly...  the inept, incapable, worst offense in the NFL and the worst team in the AFC East got into a shooting match with the Patriots!?!?!  I thought before this game that anything less than a 10 point win would basically be a loss for New England.  If the friggin Bills can put up 30 on the Pats defense then how many points will the Colts and Satan Manning put up?!?!?!?!  Christ Brady and Co will have to score touchdowns on every possession to keep up with them!!!  I hope this mediocre secondary figures out that they are professionals at some point this season!!!!  Or I hope that Bill either decides to promote a defensive coordinator or at least decides to start video taping opposing teams signals again...  cuz this is just ugly.  I realize that they have only played 3 games, but this team already looks like the latest version of Boston's Cardiac Kids.  

Speaking of cardiac kids...  the Red Sox took two out of three against the suddenly fallen back to earth and looking vulnerable Yankees.   I honestly don't know what's worse: having an injury obliterated season that will mercifully end in 6 games or having looked invincible for the whole season only to appear to be limping into the playoffs in (cough) second place? I guess we'll see in a week or two.   New York fans I can almost sympathize with what you are witnessing having seen it happen so many times to my team... instead of cheering and walking around with your chests out, you are shouting at the TV "OH COME ON!!  WTF!!"  Been there done that!!!  

College football needs a playoff...  COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEEDS A PLAYOFF!!!  Division I scholarship athletes should get paid...  DIVISION I SCHOLARSHIP ATHLETES SHOULD GET PAID!!!  It's a total insult to anyone who pays attention that the BCS is an adequate substitute to a tournament!!  I don't say this because I'm a Boise State Fan, personally I could care less about the Bronco's and their blue field...  they whacked themselves by staying in the WAC!!!  If you need to see how competitive the Big 10 is look at Ohio State's bowl game record the last few years!!! #1  Alabama beats # 10 Arkansas by 4 and stays at #1 yet Arkansas drops to #15.  If you look at both the AP and Coaches polls there are six teams in the top 25 with loss ranked higher than undefeated teams!!!  USC returned their copy of Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy because he has been accused of taking money from an agent, yet OJ Simpson's Heisman is still on display at USC!!!  Maybe if USC's athletic department had paid Bush with the millions of dollars that they made off the bowl games he helped win and likenesses of him they used to sell merchandise then he wouldn't have had to take money from an agent.  An NCAA athlete taking money isn't new...  Charles Barkley said playing in college was the easiest money he ever made!!!  And where are the sanctions against The Florida Gators who have 27 players arrested over the last six years?!?!  

9/11 meets Memento meets Lost meets 24... better known as The Event.  That statement is not a dismissal of the show.  On the contrary, it's an acknowledgement of how complex this show is, or at least how complex it wants to be.  I watched the pilot episode twice.  After I watched it the first time, I said that I would keep watching it in order to pick it apart because of its obvious flaws:  Unrealistic, erratic, destined to fall flat on it's face.  In the end that may be what I end up doing, but since I have all this free time, I watched the pilot again.  I'm intrigued.  This shows jumps back and forth through time and across characters backstories, not as seamlessly as Lost did but similarly.  This could be a star turn for Jason Ritter who plays Sean Walker.  After watching the pilot episode twice, the major question I have regarding Sean is how exactly this kid without any links to power or training is going to be a player in this story line.  In similar instances on other shows the character had some background that he could draw on to help him.  So far all Sean Walker has is a daredevil disregard for his own safety.

Finally, the last season of Smallville began on Friday night.  I haven't watched this show in at least five years.  I have been disgusted by the simple fact that I view Tom Welling's Clark Kent as a sniveling, douche bag, not worthy of being the greatest superhero ever.  After all he's supposed to be Superman not Superpussbag!!!  The suit is ready...  the world is ready...  can Clark finally close the deal!?!?  It looks like the switch might have finally been turned to on.   Whether it is called the Justice Society or the Justice League, Superman is not just a member...  Superman is the LEADER!!! I said I would watch this show again when he bacame Superman, so I am watching the final season and I sincerely hope the writers are smart enough to bring back Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luther.  For this show to close properly it must come full circle, and Welling needs Rosenbaum.  

Well, if you are still reading this then you must have as much free time as I do and for that you have my sympathies.